


you'd like to stay in heaven but the rules are too tough.

by crownuponherhead



Series: are you hurting the one you love? [2]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/M, Jon Snow is a Targaryen, Political Jon Snow, Season 8 speculation, again very blink and u miss it jaime & brienne, like the rest of the starks are there but they don't speak..so, not Daenerys friendly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-26
Updated: 2019-04-26
Packaged: 2020-02-04 16:24:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18608188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crownuponherhead/pseuds/crownuponherhead
Summary: So here he stands, just a few feet away soaking up every last inch of her he can. He’ll likely die tonight, and she will never know that everything he did he did for love of her. No sensible thought in his brain could stop him, not when everything in his body said to do it for Sansa, to protect her, to save her, to love her.





	you'd like to stay in heaven but the rules are too tough.

He doesn’t have time to hesitate, the dead are right outside the gates and yet here he stands, staring, wishing, hoping, wanting, praying. Sansa stands still outside, every inch of grace and calm as she starts points the way for people still out in the yards towards the crypts. Gilly is by her side assisting as it could be, it does something to him to see the two interact. He wonders if in another life they’d be laughing and chattering about little Sam over dinner. There’s no time for that, however. That is not the life he has been given. Instead, he is going to march to what may likely be his death in hope that the world will live. That she will live. What is he really without her? There was no hope in his eyes until she came running into his arms and her perseverance and strength won the North back. He promised to keep her safe until he takes his last breath, he’ll do everything he can to keep that promise until he’s no longer breathing. 

 

So here he stands, just a few feet away soaking up every last inch of her he can. He’ll likely die tonight, and she will never know that everything he did he did for love of her. No sensible thought in his brain could stop him, not when everything in his body said to do it for Sansa, to protect her, to save her, to love her. 

 

“Does your sister not get a goodbye from you, Lord Snow?” Jaime fucking Lannister. Of course, Jaime fucking Lannister would appear right by his side at this point. Maybe he had a special skill set of knowing when someone was in love with their sister, cousin, but the points still stands. Curling his hand into a fist he squeezed it once before turning to look at the older man. 

 

“Did you tell your sister goodbye?” There’s no time for such a quip but he can’t stop himself. He really hates Jaime fucking Lannister. 

 

“Not as nice as I’m sure you wish to with yours.” His jaw clenches and he swears every brain cell he has is repeating ‘we need allies’, despite it being his own words they sound suspiciously like Sansa’s voice in his head. And it’s almost as if she knew because Sansa catches his gaze and despite the worried expression on her face she still gives him the smallest smile. It reminds of him of the last look of her he got before leaving for the south. She’s right there too he never should have left. He shouldn’t have played the game as he did. And of course, Jaime fucking Lannister breaks it up his thoughts with a laugh. And Jon swears he almost lets his fist collide with his face. “It’s the end of the world and you still just smile at each other, fucking honorable Starks.” 

 

At least Lannister has enough sense to walk away at that, his eyes drift to see where but Brienne of Tarth. He doesn’t know what’s that about, frankly Jon can’t be bothered to care anymore. Honor? Is there any honor in the last few months of his life? His eyes drift back to Sansa, she’s fussing over Bran now who seems as if he was headed to the Godswood. Sansa’s bent down and looking over her little brother. Even from here he can see that there are tears in her eyes. It’s the comfort of it not just being the two of them that makes his feet move. He knows soon enough he will have to join the Dragon Queen, his Aunt, and ride the beasts to protect the realm. 

 

And it’s as he approaches lightly putting his hand on Sansa’s back to make his presence known that he realizes her worries before she can voice them.  They’ve let another one of their little brothers become bait in the war. All he can see is Rickon running as the arrows went after him until he notices Sansa shaking hands as she presses back Bran’s hair to press a kiss to his forehead. 

 

The three of them sit in silence until it becomes the four of them. Arya stepping next to him. He knows he’s wasting time but it does not feel like a waste in any sense of the word. 

 

“The pack survives.” It’s finally Sansa who interrupts the silence, she has seemed to suddenly put her steely mask on again, and he follows her gaze to see why. All in white including her practically white blonde hair, the Dragon Queen looks as if she doesn’t fit in anywhere but the snow.  He doesn’t look long, in fact, he turns back to Sansa before she even returns to look at them all. 

 

And then Arya slips away and Theon comes to push Bran to the Godswood and Jon knows he needs to be going, he’s wasted too much time they didn’t have but he can’t help it. Theon looks at Sansa than him and it’s just a nod but they both know the promise is there. 

 

“Jon..” The words escape her mouth as they both watch Theon and Bran walk towards death, they both know survival is unexpected but they won’t say it. He turns finally keeping steady eye contact with her. He wants to kiss her, he wants to hug her, he wants to steal her and run to Essos right now. He should have when she came into Castle Black. She doesn’t speak again though so he takes her hand firmly and keeps eye contact. 

 

“The pack survives, right?” She’s nodding and he never wants to leave her. If there is a hell he surely is about to see it but heaven must be in her eyes. Instead, he pushes her hair behind her ear and lets out a breath. “Then I’ll see you after the war is won.” 

 

He physically has to pull himself away, he can’t stop himself from looking at her, not even if he wanted to. It’s not until he absolutely has to that he does when he finds himself next to the Dragon Queen and he wants nothing more than to be back to the heaven of that wasted time. It’s the life he’s been given though. 

**Author's Note:**

> ....oops. this came to me after my early middle ages final so i guess i was just in the right mindset. i hope its good and doesn't suck i'm sleep deprived and just wanted to write it before i wrote an essay. i cried at all the nice comments on the last one so i can only hope to not disappoint now. 
> 
> also the whole now series is based off the song "are you hurting the one you love" by florence and the machine bc...its a bop but also v political jon/jonsa
> 
> as always pls validate me with comments bc i'm annoying and need validation in life. xoxo gossip girl.


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